How to create an edgy going-out lookQB72GGRV8JP2

Long black leather shoes

 

That was a really funny story how I've got those shoes: 

I was in my way to uni; perhaps it was a first time I was not running late so I was going very slowly and when I felt I'll be too early an idea topped up into my head to go to have a look  to any of the high-street stores. New look was in my way. At that time I felt that one of my heels (poor quality shoes but at that time I really wanted them and ordered them online from chinese online store) is not stable and I felt uncomfortable about that.  This is how my  already slow catwalk into super-slow walk. 

Basically, after 2 mins in the store I ended up leaving it with a new pair of shoes -I must confess that was quick, that is just not me to be that quick and careless - it was a massive 70% sale so I grabbed the last pair of long leather shoes for only 30 pounds and managed to put my old Chinese shoes to my (luckily empty) bag so that I wouldn't need to come back home to get rid of them. 

That is exactly the same outfit I was wearing that slow walk to uni day. 

  

On the plus side,  shoes proved being really comfortable and good quality. I've never been a huge fan of leather - usually if I liked some shoes I didn't care much is it the real leather or not. I've never been a huge fan of long shoes either - it always seemed to me it is something I can hardly adapt to my daily life, especially after many years seeing my mother wearing all kind of long leather shoes to her work. 

However, these kind of shoes are not for everyone - you won't look elegant or girly wearing them.

Another minor detail- they do not have a zip so sometimes it is not that easy to take them off. 

To sum up, I think these shoes are ideal for someone who is confident to be extraordinary and to play with their look. 

I am happy and somebody doesn't like me??? Perhaps, but it is not the story I wanted to tell you this time. That is a song I can't fully understand but still I can't take out of my head sometimes - 

Asobi Seksu - "I am happy but you don't like me"

Can men and women really be 'just friends'? (+VIDEO)

 

Photography by: Raminta Paukstyte

“We’re just friends.” Whenever I hear this statement it leaves melooking like Mr Bean at his last attempt to smile. Not necessary because Idon’t believe it can be true, and not even because I remember ambiguouslyclaiming it myself only several months ago, while I must admit it was notexactly true. As we all know well, exceptions are like love - 'always in theair'. We hear many cases, stories, glories about it, but there is always a bigroom for debate – can men and women be ‘just friends’?  

Surely, being too categorical and flat about close friendshipsbetween opposite sexes is not ideal for a greater analysis about this issue.However, having a strong belief from personal experiences that it’s not possiblefor men and women to be just friends because of sexual reasons as well as adozen of people and psychology lecturer’s opinions combined, this featurechallenges and unravels that matter from its ground.  

Around 20 students were interviewed and most of their thinkingsounded far too optimistically innocent. Several said they believe it’s notpossible for men and women to be ‘just friends’ without sex getting in theirway. According to many more, such friendship is very possible and they admittedhaving different sex friends themselves. Although the matter of how much timethey spend together with their opposite sex friend was not included in thequestionnaire. Could it be the case?

It might be argued that it’s enough for the opposite sexes tospend much time together to make them fall in love with each other. “The moretime you spend with someone the more you find him or her attractive”,psychology lecturer of University of Sunderland, Dr Daniel Farrelly says.

It appears that this is especially the case formales. “They have a high level of testosterones that leads to being more likelyto be looking for any sort of sexual relationship.”

Moreover, males can be wrapped around the finger much easier ifyou’re flirting and giving them signs. According to Farrelly, people,especially males, do pick up on that. And is this where the status ‘just afriend’ vanishes?

“Probably could be. For more long-termrelationships”, he continues, “it’s definitely a good idea to have a goodunderstanding of what person is like first” rather than going straight intorelationships.

I won’t start crying now complaining abouthow “just a friend” managed to steal my ex-boyfriend’s heart from me byspending much time playing football together with him and his mates (what I wasphysically not able to do being 2000 kilometers away). That made his “I won’tever need any other and moreover I don’t want nothing but you” statement notvalid. However, that does say a lot.

On the other hand, according to Dr JanetReibstein, professor of psychology at Exeter University quoted in Psychologies (Aprilissue 2012, UK edition I picked up in my way to University this morning)feature Just good friends, sometimes “you become so used tosomeone you can’t see them as a sexual object.”

After interviewing three “couples” a journalist Zoe Strimpeldiscovers that men and women can be friends of the closest and most non-sexualvariety. However, a confession of one pair of friends featured in the magazine:“We used to sit and cuddle and watch films” do not convince me at all as itdoesn’t sound very innocent and promising.

It’s a clear fact that different sexes attract eachother. Thanks to the physiology and the natural gravity of attractionthere’s nearly no chance that none of us have ever dreamt of ‘what if we couldbe together?’ when in practice the spoken language should be translated to"I want him or her in my bed!"

(Journalism student Raminta Paukstyte asks students from University of Sunderland do they really think men and women can be just friends without any sexual connections getting in the way)

 

***

MYSTERY OF VALENTINES

"Buy 1 get 2 free" deals are never that horrible like they are on Valentine's day. It's such a massive consumption fest; as if the more you get for your beloved, the more you love him/her. Many people know that does only show how much money you have in your pockets but they still keep buying expensive stuff 'just in case'.

I saw a young man yesterday carrying a massive Teddy-bear and two bouquets of flowers with a "buy one get second half-price" label on it. 

I heard on a metro two teenagers talking today. "What did your new bf give you on Valentine's day?" (another girl quickly listed things she got from him!) Oh that sounds nice.. he really loves you!"


But what if a man of your dreams cannot afford to buy you something expensive?

Looking back to my own Valentine's day experiences, as far as I remember it was never a good day of mine. When I was around 14-year-old that was perhaps the most fun times to celebrate such a ridiculous fest like this. Together with my classmates we made so much fun writing secret love letters for each other as well as for our young year crushes. We used to stick whole faces with those funny little heart-shaped stickers and made pictures of each other.  Then I was 15 though, things slightly changed. I'm not sure was it more because I started caring about having a boyfriend or just simply I wanted to feel older I've experienced an affair during Valentine's day. We were drinking before lessons and later during lessons as well and we were caught and written to police records. To appear on the school's notice board was an adventure at that time, so all in all I regretted nothing I think. 

I received a beautiful bouquet of flowers in the evening of 13th of February this year.
However, sitting nearly in the same place like I did last year, a painful memory popped up into my head. I remembered of something, I found that something and had a read through everything I've ever received and that all felt so bad.. Nearly like as if I've experienced that all again. (One more reason to hate this fest?) I've always been a memories keeper; I hardly open to other people but when I do so, it is so hard to take those people from head.. and sometimes from my heart. First love, love, love. What it's good for? Absolutely nothing. 

...HIT ME BRITNEY ONE MORE TIME

written by Raminta Paukstyte

Miss Britney Spears turned 30 on Friday (December the 2nd) and with it the desparing realisation that time doesn't stand still, looking back how rapidly and suddenly idols change. Britney used to be the goddess for many teenage girls but times change and princesses do also. Sadly but true - she is not that pop princess anymore.

I used to love Britney. Absolutely adore her, actually. Those big eyes, blonde wavy hair - I am sure there was something in her innocent look that every teen girl tried to seek. And there was nothing wrong with that.

I kept buying magazines just because of her every time I found a little picture of the girl who did it again inside of them... I was proud of myself knowing word for word (as I've learnt them by heart!) and kept singing every single song she sang, even though I didn't know English then.

Then there's  even more embarrassing (?!) memory that I tried to do my hair in the way not a girl, not yet a woman did and looked for clohes similar to those she wore, so that I could look like her. All in all: that was all rather positive impact she gave to me.

It's not even because she got older or something that we stopped admiring the girl next door look. We don't actually need that innocence anymore - sadly or not - it is no longer attractive in this sexualized society we live in. Then it comes to judgment - what do we have attractive today?

There's no such a thing as 'innocence'.  We have Rihanna, pop princess, who sings about how badly she wants sex and that chains and whips excite her...

We also have Lady Gaga, whose music video clips could surely compete with pornography and American culture "beauty", music awards' winner Nicky Minaj, whose plastic surgery-shaped ass for a public eye is much more important than she and her music is. Some artists,  to be honest, actually deserve much more to be nominated and awarded for  the best bump of the year rather than the best album of the year, but, anyway...

This is where it all goes. What is wrong with that? I'd rather be kicked and misunderstood but would ask the new, next generation's Britney to hit us, babies, one more time, because I'd never like to see my future-teen-daughter seeking to look like one of those new, sexualized pop princesses. 

Britney Spears performing ...baby one more time

Personal Fashion Memoir: "The Higher the Heel, the Closer to Heaven"

It started when I was a little girl gloating over the gorgeous dresses on the television screen, when I first saw Miss Universe beauty contest. For somebody else it would have been the actual dress, but for me it was more about that subtle and inspiring feminine walk, which my bittersweet memory muscled in on. I’ve always wanted to be that girl - confident and beautiful - ever since. I felt it was something about the footwear.  And now, I know, that it was all about the heels... 

by Raminta Paukstyte

Falling in love with them came gradually, though. Switching from the black leather steel toe boots to high-heels wasn’t easy for a 16-year-old-punk me. Something radical should have happened, but there was nothing - just a dramatic, ultimate fashion contradiction. I started attending a modelling school at the age of 16 and here the confession continues...

That was the first time in my life I was not sure what I was doing, but, I absolutely loved it. We were taught various things, including dancing, acting, posing, that helped me to obtain and develop self-confidence in the role of model, although I found catwalk lessons really challenging sometimes. In the very beggining, it was quite embarrassing to appear on a catwalk with such a confidence as if you were a diva (making sure everybody believed you actually were), while everyone was watching you, especially while other girls secretly laughed at me. 

I knew some of them did. There was even a reason for that. I was the only girl in the group who never stopped wearing military leather steel toe boots. The thing is, I never wanted to be the girl next door. I thought I’d rather look cool. I’m sure I did. 

I couldn’t tell anyone and kept hiding the fact that I was carrying heels with me to my classes, so that I wouldn’t lose, what I thought, was my own identity. That’s how my very first experience with high-heels started. Poorly and cautiously. 

"I couldn't tell anyone and kept hiding the fact that I was carrying heels with me to my classes, so that I wouldn't lose, what I thought, my own identity was"

I would never have guessed I would be soon running about the busy streets of one of the fashion capitals; running in circles from one metro to another, catching and breathing hot air from the buses. holding a map in my hands and, at the same time, having twelve-centimetre-high platform wedges on, when thermometer showed no less than 33 degress. That all happened after only a year.

I lived and worked as an assistant in a modelling agency in Milan. This city made my reinvention possible. Living there became an endless catwalk that worked even stronger than a scary mirror hall. It didn’t even matter that italians were already shorter without me even wearing heels. “I’m living in Milan“ - I kept repeating to myself.  I became aware of that and didn’t go back to my teenage look again. 

Now my boyfriend comments, with reproach, “Why do you nearly always wear heels?“ I know that on occasions like this I appear to be an inch taller than him. However, that doesn’t stop me wearing my beloved platform shoes. I love them... both. And why shouldn’t I? I am not yet Miss Universe, but I am, at least, confident and beautiful. 

Pretty Girl Dilemma: Would You Date Me, Beautiful?

written by Raminta Paukstyte

Pretty girls are the happiest girls in the world: they have the man and job of their dreams; they are the people everybody wants to be friends with. Until this very moment, when the success ends, love is gone and those “friends” seem happier than ever before. The only thing that left is to be an object of desire. It’s not that easy.

I’d never thought what exceptional are the lessons of life I can get working as a bartender. “Be careful, there are many men who will try to get into your pants”, whispered stranger once. “I know”, I remember, was my answer....

The truth is I don’t realise sometimes, how often I get much attention from men only because they think how pretty I am. Honestly, I give many efforts to believe that there might be more reasons, why they fancy me, but, unfortunately, there is usually nothing just that. You might think it is easier for me, but actually it is harder to know when somebody is saying that beyond the surface.

“But at least you get that attention, so shut up b*tch!”- is that something what you all are thinking about? Yes, I do get it, but do you really think this is what truly makes you feel happy? “Every time I come to this bar I fall in love with this girl.” “You’re beautiful.” “Thank you.” “You’re absolutely beautiful”. “Thank you!” “Do you have a boyfriend?” “Yes.” [Lying] “Please, smile!” “No. I don’t want to.” “Why?” “Because I am sad.” [Bartender. Is. Crying]. Why I was lying and why was the bartender crying?

That is far from enough to fulfil my expectations to meet a man of my dreams. Let’s blame fairytales and movies that make you think about “the happy end”. OK, talking about love, it doesn’t necessary have to be true. I consider my romance criteria (like any other girl I suppose?) rational if not mature, and this is what lets me down so much: that won’t last, and even being pretty can not handle with it.

People change, don’t they? I’d never guessed how ruthless I can become after hearing those compliments repeated for me all over again and again. Fake words, fake smiles, fake expectations, and fake people and fake me- I just can’t take it anymore.

It is so hard to believe in what people say. My “no” became stronger than ever before; I did not actually care much about the hurt looks on their faces. I stopped thinking of connivances at all. I relied on extremity instead. I stopped being myself for a while… The question here: was HE really worth THAT?

And only recently I decided to reorganize my thoughts about that by giving a chance for someone I like and started listen to my heart again. Feelings, you say? They are always here. “Love never change; those feelings are always here just they are transferred to another person”, a male friend says.

I am half-joking, of course, grasping so much from my own experience, as if it’s something nobody else have heard about and have never experienced. I know my personal life would not make the front-page news right now, but I believe there are many girls who might think: “Look at her, she is beautiful, life is much easier for her.” Think once again.

“Bartending life-school” keeps me refreshing. “Do you have a boyfriend? Would you go on a date with me?” [That person could be my grandfather. He looks really old. Cynic, random joke- isn’t it?] I disgusted so much of what was just being asked; tried to calm down and then again: “Would you date me? “[Pause] “I have money, you know…”

That just killed me. But this is something we should deal with.

Birthday Girl ♥

Have not much to say..I will definitely miss being 19! :(

Usually summer ends by the end of August. But for me it`s not.

   

This dress was worn by my mother in 90s.. 

Once, I remember I wanted to cut it. (thanks to god I didn’t!!) and to make it more wearable (as I thought),
because all my dresses used to be a way shorter then)

This dress let me feel different. It let me feel special.

  

    

Lovely September

 

comments may also live here, I promise.

Sometimes i'm reading. or flirting. or both.

 the last few days spend with Ana Karenina and I definitely love it! and there`s nothing else i could say, eh eh, eh eh..

Here are more inspirational photographs

 

 

The Graduation Look

the comments live here, promise.